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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?